The iGearList Blog

Digg the Flip-Flops

October 16th, 2007

Nobody’s been “Digg“-ing my blog so it’s time to get tough.  I’m here to write a brief expose on flip-flops.  Those who use them, and those who can’t.  Then, I predict, you will be so entertained, you’ll click on that little “Digg” button and propel iGearList into blogging fame. 

Let’s get started, shall we?  Let’s start with me.  I cannot wear flip-flops.  No.  I have to wear the shoe version of prison cakes.  Big white, round fluffy shoes with the equivalent of steel files baked into them.   Yes, I’m one of those over-pronators who needs hard  “medial posts” (more like “big ugly plastic ramps”) built into the soles to keep my foot from collapsing on each stride.  On top of that, I have prescription polypropylene orthotics to just make doubly sure that my big floppy pancake feet behave.  To add insult to all of this, my podiatrist has me keep the manufacturer’s arch support in.  So, that’s basically equivalent to wearing, like, 3 diapers.  I guess it’s merited, I have pounded my feet out an extra size and a half since reaching adulthood.  And, my toes are starting to point the wrong way.  Every time I think I can stop wearing my triple decker running apparati, and use something merely “stable”, I’m rewarded with a couple ice packs in my bed. (I put them there, to encourage healing.)  No flip-flops for me, really.  Pass.

I occasionally toy with the idea of carefully building up my non-existent arch strength by wearing some Nike Free’s (all this correction cannot be natural, I think to myself).  However, I recently came across a few words about them in (the amazing, insightful and hilarious) FitnessFixation.com blog and I now feel somewhat vindicated in my choice to steer clear of this endeavor.  To quote the author, Kelly Mills, “I bought the Nike Free shoes, the ones that are supposed to strengthen your legs and feel like running barefoot and my verdict is that so far strength just feels like stupid calf cramps.”  Yes, these expensive, floppy no-triple-support-action slippers would probably render me, well, rendered.  (And it sounds like running in flip-flops is out for Kelly as well.)

So who DOES get to wear flip-flops?  OK.  Flip-Flop Man  gets to wear them.  You heard me right.  Here’s how you become the Flip-Flop Man.  Put on a pair of flip-flops, and run 33 miles.  In your underwear.  Repeat, every single day.  Now, does this man have a podiatrist?  No?  OK. How about happiness, maybe?  I’ll tell you what this man does have: a problem.  And this is the problem.  By his own words, he eats “cheese and chocolate” but says “I have never been happy”.  What?  Awww, flip-flop man.  You’ve got arches of steel, and eat cheese and chocolate and you run around in flip-flops and underwear all day, and you’re still not happy?  Is there hope for the rest of us? 

Gear Queen calls Flip-Flop Man my long lost relative, due to the glaringly insufficient foot gear choice, me being the one notorious for using unusual gear, or skimping in my gear choices.  However, let the record show that these things would make me happy.  Cheese, chocolate, flip-flops, and running all day in my underwear - yes - happy. 

So, a couple other things might make me kinda happy.  Like, you can buy your own flip-flops from Teva, yes, using that link (or you can see the Teva banner on our Shop page.)  Or, you can Digg this article!  C’mon you read this far, you must have like it, at least a little.

- P

Entry Filed under: Gear For Sale, good stuff., P-Gear